Make Beef in India

Make Beef in India

The sun is breaking and there is activity at 152, South Block, Raisina Hill, New Delhi with Prime Minister Narendra Modi in chair.

Present in the meeting are Mufti Mohammad Sayeed, Chief Minister of Jammu and Kashmir, Union Home Minister Rajnath Singh, Union Minister for Agriculture and Food Radha Mohan Singh, Minister of State for Commerce & Industry Nirmala Sitharaman, Sajad Lone, Jammu & Kashmir Minister for Science and Technology and Animal Husbandry, and Anup Wadhawan, Director General of the Directorate General of Foreign Trade (DGFT).

Prime Minister Modi starts the meeting declaring, “First of all, let me thank Mufti Sayeed for declaring the ban on cow slaughter just before Bakar Eid. Indeed, there was Sajad Lone and his Animal Husbandry Department.”

Mufti Sayeed, “Respected Prime Minister, please allow me to interrupt. I am greatly indebted to your kindness; I am but a humble servant Sir. Honorable Sir, your Sacred Mother is my Sacred Mother too.”

Modi continues, “Indeed Mufti Sahib has rendered an extraordinary service to India. We can imagine the number of lives of our Mother Cows have been saved, when there are an estimated forty million Muslims in the state. On top of that we had a positive movement in Uttar Pardesh, in Dadri when Muslim was put in his place for destroying our Sacred Mother, and then eating the remains. Muslims should not be allowed to forget the example of Akhlaq.

“Indeed we are missing Shri Arun Jaitley, our Information and Broadcasting maestro. I have the figures here that there are 1148 private television stations in India, plus our own Door Darshan. And we have our film industry! I want the example of Akhlaq to be firmly embossed in every Muslim mind and heart that what happens to the one who desecrates our Scared Mother.

“As I said while mentioning the heroic deed of Mufti Sahib, we need to focus on the 180 million Muslims in India. They need to be stopped from desecrating our Sacred Mother. Mufti Sahib, you are a mufti, you can issue a fatwa against the consumption of beef.

“You know since we have entered government, I have been vigorously promoting ‘Make in India’. This is why I have summoned this meeting. At the home front heroes like our Mufti Sahib and our union and state home ministers, and our agriculture and animal husbandry departments will ensure that no Muslim touches our Sacred Mother. On the external front our ministries of trade and commerce and especially our Directorate General of Foreign Trade have important roles to play. The union and state agricultural departments will collect data about how many Sacred Mothers we are saving every year.

“I have decided to include cows in our ‘Make It in India’ scheme. We will encourage our external trade ministry to promote the export of cows from India.”

The Union Home Minister Rajnath Singh raises his hand and seeks permission to speak, “Our respected leader but how are we to assure that the foreign importers will not desecrate our Sacred Mothers?”

Modi interrupts, “Shri Rajnath, once a citizen leaves the shores of their motherland they acquire a new citizenship. Now, yes, they are our Sacred Mothers, but we are Indians, and our mothers can only be Indians. Once they acquire foreign citizenship, they can become Americans, Germans or Belgian or whatever mothers, and Indians cannot have Americans, Germans or Belgian or whatever mothers. It is not our concern what they do with their mothers, eat them or worship them!

“Imagine India minus 180 to 190 million people who are not desecrating our Sacred Mothers, so how many cows we can export! Americans, Germans or Belgian or whatever can Make It in India beef.

“My dear folks it is money that matters! The more money we get, the more arms we can buy and rule the word! Jai Hind.”

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