Following her Faisalabad rally, Maryam Nawaz Sharif has once again summoned inner circle of women.
Seated on the carpet are former information minister Maryam Aurangzeb, parliamentarian Hina Pervez Butt, president PML-N women’s wing Shaista Pervez Malik, parliamentarian Maiza Hameed, PML-N Punjab additional general secretary Saira Afzal Tarrar, and information secretary Azma Zahid Bukhari.
Ever eager to prove her servility, the moment Maryam Nawaz Sharif seats herself on her golden armchair, Hina bursts out, “Did anyone note that how scared Imran Khan is of our Beautiful Leader! You all know that when Asif Zardari changed the names of his children to Bhutto-Zardari, NADRA (National Database & Registration Authority) did not bring about any change. But when our Beautiful Leader changed her name from Maryam Safdar to Maryam Nawaz Sharif, NADRA acted immediately… I say that a shivering Imran Khan asked NADRA to declare that upon marriage, women don’t need to change their given names.
“Yes, even Peoples Party need to thank you too, because now Bakhtawar can become Bhutto-Choudhry.”
Azma, not to be outshone, chimes, “Huma, you said it all, but more noteworthy is that after seeing what our Great Leader filed in Islamabad High Court in her Avenfield petition that the case/verdict against you was pre-planned, orchestrated and influenced by Lt. Gen. Faiz Hameed, the then director general [counter-intelligence]. And we all see next, an unnerved [COAS] Gen. Bajwa demotes this general out from ISI to Corps Commander Peshawar, far away from the military headquarters.”
Maryam Nawaz Sharif, instantly adds, “You are spot on, and people can understand why Imran Khan is so panicked that his selector Gen. Faiz has been kicked so far away.
“It was Gen. Faiz who pressured the judge to declare that Calibri font, which I have always used to prepare my documents was available when I prepared these documents. What! The parentage of Colibri is clear. Georg Dralle Parfüm-und Feinseifenwerke was founded in Hamburg in 1852. Haven’t people even of our grandmothers’ generation used Colibri creams? You all know how this drama about my using nonexistent fonts was created to remove the biggest hurdle in front of them. Now this big drama about the new ISI chief’s appointment. Nothing… nothing but to save his government…”
Huma quickly complete the sentence, “The moment Gen. Faiz goes, this Imran Khan government would collapse… such is the power of my Beautiful Leader. And I know why on July 6, 2018, the accountability court handed jail terms of seven years to our Beautiful Leader but one year to our beloved Safdar Awan… it was Gen. Faiz’s conspiracy to create husband and wife rift, but our Beautiful Leader never boasted that ‘look, I got seven, you only got one’…”
The gathered women, with an obsequent nod, declare, “Our Beautiful Leader!”
Maryam Nawaz Sharif, smiles, and offers, “They call themselves generals… yes, generals… two 4-star generals, and 29 lieutenant generals and 197 major generals, but you see my war tactics. I split the PDM (Pakistan Democratic Movement) for a reason… and you know how it is working. My troops are marching from Faisalabad to onward, while Bilawal is marching from Sindh… this is called tactical warfare… a true pincer movement. The military ousted my Papa and now I will oust the military.”
“And… and it is being done at the right moment! The country is at peril… [giggles] and the people are too naïve to consider the challenges the country faces… after being defeated in Afghanistan, America is showing no mercy to Pakistan… and the oil cartel has raised prices again… what an opportunity, never to be missed! Imran Khan… and the country have their backs to the wall, and this is the moment he can be felled.
“Gen. Bajwa is so scared now that he hasn’t uttered a word despite the powerful punches, I am throwing at him. Their days are numbered. I have the cards and I am playing them.”
Maryam Aurangzeb chimes in, “When you become prime minister, we will appoint Farrukh Saleem, columnist of The News and Pakistan Observer, as finance minister. What a brainy tweet he has done, pointing out that when oil pricing in international market in August was $75/barrel, and there are 159 liters in a barrel, which makes it Rs80 per liter, but why Pakistani pumps are selling it at Rs137 liter. What a brilliant mind who rejects the consideration of refining, transportation, and distribution costs… and yesterday, he was quoting $85 a barrel!”
Maryam Nawaz Sharif, interrupts, “Surely, in fact, also he will be our minister for science and technology, so we have cars that run on crude oil, and we can get total love of people by selling oil at less than half what Imran Khan is giving them for.
“Our wise leader, (JUI-F chief) Maulana Fazlur Rehman is on the mark that the time is right to take to the streets instead of only organizing rallies against the PTI-led government. The country can take care of itself, but we must kill this accountability mania… the disease that is starving us of riches.”